Don't Fool
Sunday, February 29, 2004
whooohooo, xin xue lai chao, was browsin thru e bbs on Saint Seiya section so i wanna post sm pics here.
12 gold saints
Lots of junks, e sever damn suck so i deleted e pics.
Week 8
V tiring week. On Friday i was bout half an hr late.. 4 e 1st lesson. ya, cos i don wanna get caught b ncc so i came aft lesson has started.
On e average tis week's ok, Tues was chem test, ya, scored A1, e only A1 among all my subs. sadly, chinese compo pulled me dn 2 A2. don wanna talk bout results... hope IP is e correct path 4 us.
nothing much on my mind now.. 4 sm reason everytime when i type tis, i've got no feelings which gives others an impressions tt m depressed or stuffs. well... not really depressed, but juz a bit empty. so.. got into e ProED council, under communication, dno wat's tt..
last week, aft inspired by our relief's... drum solo, no.. tt's lyk e snare drum playing in a outdoor band. yea, quite cool, managed 2 figure out tt each time he hit is actually 3 continuous strokes. so i went back 2 practise, left hand's still weak. but i tried out durin tis week's lesson, haha, cool ey?! esp when u on e snare can only hear e vibration of e metal strings.
eh, now i encountered sm personal problems.. sighed...
met shanghai today, e stupid boy bought e potato phone, 6600. ya, spent e aftnoon doin maths n physics. then in e late aftnoon wendi called. gd, back 2 sin, n on 12th of march is his sis's bday guess tt'll b a gang reunion, tt's a fri, surely i'll b fuckin bz wif li guan qian... plannin 2 buy her sis a necklace or smthing together wif shanghai so tt we can share e money. anyway he juz shifted, ha, so m expectin 2 go n stay at his place 4 smtime. but when? ya, not sure. haha...
back 2 LGQ, Y.ang gave me a gd "scolding" (i think it's a scolding) while rehearsing, fuck man... n he increased my burden by giving me another role. n in Xue Chao, i've changed frm an ordinary protestant into a student leader, guys, get ready 2 see me being "whacked" up by e police. anyway, e police is a wu shi wu, so we're juz actin on our own imagination. eh... go up, got beat up till i fall, roll on e floor, blood, got carried away. blabla, yea tt's e 1st part. n i had another role.. dno he juz think m talented or wat but seriously i don find interest in tis. 2 b more positive, i've tried my best 2 act my roles well, act until sweat...
ther goes my hols, m mentally prepared 2 b called back 2 sch everyday during march hols... fine, 2 b positive (again) let's juz treat tis as a "training" 4 me, mayb tis performance is e only major 1 tt i get 2 attend in my entire life... ya, so, i'll try 2 commit myself.
... actually m feeling v v v v sorrynow.. haven got tis kinda of feeling 4 a long time, cos... er, i was made 2 feel it * n guess wat, sm ppl r makin me laugh, on at e same time m still talkin 2 tt "sad" subject, sighed... i juz felt sorry la, even it's not my fault.. i juz feel it. damn
ya... sm ppl amused by e webcam, haha! lizhen said m hilarious.. wat my looks v funny when i laugh she wanna laugh more. anyway... sport sch isn't as strong as we tot.
marina square under renovation. shanghai isn't workin currently. m lookin fwd 2 out sabbacticals. ya, n not aft tt... bye. (lost tot of wat 2 write.. i wanna change my bg...)
You're Sagattarius, Your name is Aioros you
unfortunatly died at an early age saving baby
Athena. Your spirit is forever remembered in
the Saggatarious Gold Cloth. You stand for
truth and justice in the World.
What Saint Seiya Gold Saint are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
WTH? anyway, tt's wrong spelling, Aiolos la! Well, tis is my favourite! since childhood. Yea, Saint Seiya. cool
Friday, February 20, 2004
yo, m tryin 2 update tis at least once a week.
k 3 fuckin tests tis week. IH elective, IH core and Physic. Basically i screwed them all, esp the IHC, fucking hell i made a damn big mistake. i compared source B and C instead of C and D. gonna fuckin fail... 4 IHH, well, juz din hav enough time 2 write. lastly, tot of gettin a1 4 physics however... e test din look familiar 2 us, rite i wont blame LAM cos Chong will b killed if lam is blamed. (get e joke?)
now cca today. fought wif liuzhen n i'll b goin 2 sch tml. he told me 2 write a letter ( a apology letter, cos he's e chairman, using his weight of authority against me..) n read out. wtfh? yea, u'll see dude, i wont even b ther on time. comon, m not even afraid of Y.ang W.en Z.hong, pon 4 times tis week n today wat he did? "wenxin, u've been bzy tis week huh?" n i replied "ya, 3 tests tis week n i din know i need 2 come" he gave a his typical, fuckin, sarcastic, evil laugh.
so.. not feelin cool today. fucking shitz... so tml, m gonna b late, m gonna fight wif liuzhen again (hopefully), n if he continues his fuckin speech which is bout wat m goin 2 b in e committee n i still don behave. m gonna tell him tt i don give a fuckin damn. rite i don blame him, e sch policy made every1 into such a not lovin person. so if he continues m gonna juz walk away. "yea? tell y.ang tt m not obeyin, i don care."
ya, honourable deputy principal, u wanna cane me as well?
anyway tml i already asked frens out 4 movie in e aftnoon so really gonna walk away. e only reason y m still goin 2 sch tml is tt i've been selected 2 act in Li Guangqian, so b realistic, it's 10 ACE 4 chinese. (shit, tis yr my ace 4 chinese gonna xplode again. participation in Ji xi yang jiang is 5, if got win any title then more. participation in National project's competition is another 5, if got 1st in nation again then 10. n project's day, enters finals will b 5, A* will b 10. then still got e fuckin morning anouncement, debate (comin soon) n blabla...
sighed... m v worried 4 other subs' ACE, esp e humanities... all of them we only hav half a yr 2 get e 20 pts, compare 2 other subs, tt's half e time.
yea, not feelin cool today...
High heels- peppy, up-beat, and outgoing, you are
most likely a cheerleader of some sort. You
are usually happy and insist that others are
too. When you aren't cheering you are probably
at a party having a blast. [please vote! thank
you! :)]
What Kind of Shoe Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
What is your name?: Zhang Wen Xin
Are you named after anyone?: No
What's your screename?: Volt
Would you name a child of yours after you?: Lyk wat?
If you were born a member of the opposite sex what would your name be?: Wen Xin
If you could switch names with a friend who would it be?: God
Are there any mispronounciations/typos that ppl do w/ your name constantly?: Yea, weng xin, or wen xing, fuck
Would you drop your last name if you became famous?: I don need much fame
Basics
Your gender:: Male
Straight/Gay/Bi:: Straight
Single?: No...
If not, do you want to be?: M not feelin cool today...
Birthdate:: 1986/04/21
Your age:: 17+
Age you act:: 12?
Age you wish you were:: I wish m a elf!
Your height:: 171
Eye color:: Brown n black n white mayb some blood now..
Happy with it?: Fuckin happy
Hair color:: Black
Happy with it?: Yea
Lefty/righty/ambidextrous:: Righty, training 2 b ambidextrous
Your living arrangement:: Gd arrangement
Your family:: 1 mom 1 dad, 7 cousins (all female, 3 married n hav child, 1 passed away, she's my closest 1) , 3 nephews, 4 grandparents, 9 granduncles, 3 uncles (1 is not directly related, livin in BJ), 3 aunts-in-law (1 divorced n my uncle married again), 3 aunts, 2 aunts-in-law (1 divorced), 3 sis-in-laws ( i call them bros, my cousin's husbands) n sm unknown relatives living in e country side or town areas where i neva been ther b4.
Have any pets?: No, i use 2 lyk dogs, now i hate them
Whats your job?: A fucker
Piercings?: No
Tattoos?: No
Obsessions?: Injury
Addictions?: Cant afford 2 get addicted 2 anything, mayb... my loves?
Do you speak another language?: Yea
Have a favorite quote?: Many of them.
Do you have a webpage?: Yup
Deep Thoughts About Life: Life is juz an experience...
Do you live in the moment?: Ya
Do you consider yourself tolerant of others?: Depends on who tt is..
Do you have any secrets?: Yes
Do you hate yourself?: Not really
Do you like your handwriting?: Can be improved
Do you have any bad habits?: Ya
What is the compliment you get from most people?: ... I dno, many of them, but i don consider tt compliment
If a movie was made about your life, what would it be called?: I dno
What's your biggest fear?: Losing my love ones, losing their understanding of me. I'll choose 2 die 4 them, any of them even smtime i hate them (eg. my dad cos he hurt my mom) Ya, I'll still choose 2 trade my life 2 save his if anything happens.
Can you sing?: No
Do you ever pretend to be someone else just to look cool?: Seldom
Are you a loner?: Seldom
What are your #1 priorities in life?: To live it 2 the FULLEST
If you were another person, would you be friends with you?: Yea
Are you a daredevil?: Yes
Is there anything you fear or hate about yourself?: Yes 4 e former.
Are you passive or agressive?: Both
Do you have a journal?: Consider tis as 1?
What is your greatest strength and weakness?: I dno.. m lost
If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?: Me as a whole
Do you think you are emotionally strong?: Not really
Is there anything you regret doing/not doing in life?: Ya
Do you think life has been good so far?: Yes
What is the most important lesson you've learned from life?: How to live it
What do you like the most about your body?: Give me a mirror
And least?: Same
Do you think you are good looking?: I pass myself
Are you confident?: Most of the time, no harm losing
What is the fictional character you are most like?: Fact or fiction ther's no fiction
Are you perceived wrongly?: Maybe
Do You...
Smoke?: I smoked
Do drugs?: Sleepin pills
Read the newspaper?: On sch days if ther provide me
Pray?: When m desperately in need of guidiance
Go to church?: It's been yrs since i last went
Talk to strangers who IM you?: Yea
Sleep with stuffed animals?: No.
Take walks in the rain?: When m feelin blue
Talk to people even though you hate them?: I tell them fuck off
Drive?: No
Like to drive fast?: No, I've seen 2 many accidents.. bloody
Would or Have You Ever?
Liked your voice?: No
Hurt yourself?: Ya
Been out of the country?: Ya
Eaten something that made other people sick?: Ya
Been in love?: Ya
Done drugs?: No.
Gone skinny dipping?: No
Had a medical emergency?: Yes, almost died
Had surgery?: No.
Ran away from home?: Once
Played strip poker?: Yes
Gotten beaten up?: Yes, I even cried.
Beaten someone up?: Yes, i paid 50 bucks 4 his medicines.
Been picked on?: Yes.
Been on stage?: Many times.
Slept outdoors?: Yes
Thought about suicide?: Ya, thought.
Pulled an all nighter?: Yes
If yes, what is your record?: Cant rmb
Gone one day without food?: No.
Talked on the phone all night?: Yes, wif my ex tuition teacher
Slept together with the opposite sex w/o actually having sex?: Yes, many times. Wif my cousins n frens.
Slept all day?: Ya i guess
Killed someone?: No
Made out with a stranger?: Huh?
Had sex with a stranger?: No.
Thought you're going crazy?: Yes, thought.
Kissed the same sex?: Yes, more than once.
Done anything sexual with the same sex?: No, i told him 2 fucked off, he wanted 2 pay me 4 it. haha! more than 1 of them. Cool ey?
Been betrayed?: Not really
Had a dream that came true?: Ya
Broken the law?: Yes.
Met a famous person?: Yea
Have you ever killed an animal by accident?: Many ants n cockroach
On purpose?: Ya, 3 hamsters of my previous landlord's daughter, who's a Itallian
Told a secret you swore you wouldn't tell?: Ya, guess so
Stolen anything?: Ya, many things
Been on radio/tv?: Hope so.
Been in a mosh-pit?: ??
Had a nervous breakdown?: Nearly
Bungee jumped?: No.
Had a dream that kept coming back?: Not really keep coming...
Beliefs
Belive in life on other planets?: Yes, universe is big. We're juz a small dot in solar system which is a even smaller dot in Milky way which is even smaller in...
Miracles?: Ya
Astrology?: Not really
Magic?: No.
God?: Ha, maybe
Satan?: ....
Santa?: Definitely no
Ghosts?: Ya, but not afraid of them
Luck?: Yes
Love at first sight?: Yes
Yin and yang (that good cant exist w/o bad)?: Ya i think so
Witches?: Fucking no
Easter bunny?: No.
Believe its possible to remain faithful forever?: Yes.
Believe theres a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow?: Ha? How bout a pot of Diamonds?
Do you wish on stars?: Maybe
Deep Theological Questions
Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?: Sometimes
Do you think God has a gender?: No.
Do you believe in organized religion?: No.
Where do you think we go when we die?: Somewhere...
Friends
Do you have any gay/lesbian friends?: No.
Who is your best friend?: A few of them.
Who's the one person that knows most about you?: Mom?
What's the best advice that anyone has ever given to you?: A few of them
Your favourite inside joke?: Huh?
Thing you're picked on most about?: People
Who's your longest known friend?: Jinzi (12 yrs?)
Newest?: Lizhen from sports sch?
Shyest?: Arh, sm pri sch gals.
Funniest?: Show me a mirror. (shitz, m a clown...)
Sweetest?: Eh, i dno...
Closest?: My Chinese n Indo frens. ( well, smthings i cant tell my classmats, aftall they're younger than me...)
Weirdest?: Show me a mirror again.
Smartest?: Those nerds, really high IQ
Ditziest?: Wat?
Friends you miss being close to the most?: Er, don make me sad...
Last person you talked to online?: CunBin
Who do you talk to most online?: I don really talk online, later sm1 say i 2 cold... considering e most time spent at 1 go for each of them.. tt will be, yz, lh, ww, alysa, huitian, nic, wenny, xueting....
Who are you on the phone with most?: Ha! really din think bout it, everytime it's more than 1 or 2 hrs
Who do you trust most?: (aftall my classmates r younger than me)
Who listens to your problems?: Many willing ears, ha, I neva tell. Really thank u ppl
Who do you fight most with?: Fight? It's not my job to kill you, do as u lyk.
Who's the nicest?: I dno
Who's the most outgoing?: Haha, mayb shanghai
Who's the best singer?: Oh, 2 judo seniors who already graduated frm HCJC! 1 of them now in China.
Who's on your shit-list?: I don make frens wif shitz
Have you ever thought of having sex with a friend?: Ha, maybe? But 2 think of it now... I don find any1 attractive...
Who's your second family?: Wat does tt mean?
Do you always feel understood?: Think so... m not v complicated, juz i choose not 2 tell every1
Who's the loudest friend?: Vernon, yea, U WANNA FIGHT!!!?? lol
Do you trust others easily?: Guess so
Who's house were you last at?: Zhong Wen
Name one person who's arms you feel safe in: Prefer 2 b undisclosed. Mom will b e eziest arm 2 reach!
Do your friends know you?: Ya i guess so. Wat they know is enough 4 us 2 communicate effitively.
Friend that lives farthest away: Jingjing in Canada, even more far from China.... ha
Love and All That
Do you consider love a mistake?: No. Even if m hurt it's still not, cos Life is an experience!
What do you find romantic?: Many things, hmmm in a restaurant, at a beach, e submit of a hill, on a boat... blabla
Turn-on?: Huh?
Turn-off?: Huh?
First kiss?: Don feel lyk saying again.
If someone u had no interest in had interest in dating u how would u feel?: Happy of course, cos sm1 is lovin me! We will make great frens 4 sure.
Do you prefer knowing someone before dating them or going: It's ok, can know them aft dating.
Have u ever wished it was more socially acceptable 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out: Wish? It is already socially accepted 4 a girl 2 ask a guy out.
Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractiv: NO. No dinos.. pls
Do you think the opposite sex finds you good looking?: I cant think frm a gal's perspective.
What is best about the opposite sex?: That they're e OPPOSITE!
What is the worst thing about the opposite sex?: When they don behave lyk e opposite sex
What's the last present someone gave you?: A necklace and 2 ear rings.
Are you in love?: Ya.
Do you consider your significant other hot?: Ha!
Who Was the Last Person...
That haunted you?: He fucked off
You wanted to kill?: No 1.
That you laughed at?: I laugh at many ppl
That laughed at you?: Many ppl laugh at me
That turned you on?: I don get it...
You went shopping with?: Eh... Alysa
That broke your heart?: ... Don mention it
To disappoint you?: Cant rmb
To ask you out?: Cant rmb, nic?
To make you cry?: Mom...
To brighten up your day?: Frenz!
That you thought about?: Er... Surprising sm1 tt made me feel v fucked up...
You saw a movie with?: Alysa
You talked to on the phone?: Mom
You talked to through IM/ICQ?: CunBin
You saw?: Kenneth and Cheng Xian
You lost?: I dno.. i din lose any1
Right This Moment...
Are you going out?: Tml
Will it be with your significant other?: No, will b wif Tong n Wenny
Or some random person?: No
What are you wearing right now?: A v loose pair of shorts n topless as usual
Body part you're touching right now: Wat u wanna hear? My penis?
What are you worried about right now?: Tml... wat shld i do? shld i juz step back n let everythin calm dn or shld i fight?
What book are you reading?: No books
What's on your mousepad?: No mousepad
Use 5 words to describe how you're feeling: Sleepy, v sleepy, and not feeling cool
Are you bored?: No.
Are you tired?: Yes, very.
Are you talking to anyone online?: Kenneth juz told me bout our taxi fare.
Are you talking to anyone on the phone?: YZ is on e phone now... askin me wat m doin... ha
Are you lonely or content?: Content i guess
Are you listening to music?: Yesterday.. not feeling cool today. FUCK
Hell, tis is fucking long. m done... yea, see ya...
Monday, February 16, 2004
General
Name: Zhang Wenxin
Nickname: ha? Volt, Katana, Chizumaru, Wen zi?
Birthday: 21 April 1986
Birthplace: Xi’an China
Now
Current mood: Calm?
Current music: Dynamite!
Current taste: Is e water in my mouth sweet?
Current hair: Short
Current clothes: Topless and shorts
Current annoyance: Thinking bout tests
Current smell: Odorless
Current thing I ought to be doin: Study?
Current windows open: Msn, Kazza, Winamp, Windows Media Player, Tom.com
Current desktop picture: Playboy cover page model (yeah e 15 one)
Current favorite band: No fav bands..
Current book: I don read…
Current CD in stereo: U mean mp3 in my mp3 player? Hmm tt’s alot
Current crush: Yeah, no crush
Current favorite celeb: Wu Qi Long
Current hate: School I guess
Do you..
Smoke? No. I smoked
Do drugs? Sleepin pills?
Have sex? Who’s willing 2 do it wif me?
Give oral sex? No
Receive oral sex: No
Have a dream that keeps coming back? 1 or 2
Remember your first love? Ya.
Still love him/her? No
Read the newspaper? From Monday to Thursday during school days.
Have any gay or lesbian friens? No?
Believe in miracles? Ya.
Believe it's possible to remain faithful? Guess so.
Consider yourself tolerant of others? Alright.
Consider love a mistake? No.
Like the taste of alcohol? Hmm, ok
Have a favorite candy? No.
Believe in astrology? No. But sm1 is influencing me… lol
Believe in magic? No.
Believe in God? Not really.. smtimes
Have any pets? No, n I hate dogs
Go to or plan to go to university? Ya.
Have any piercings? No.
Have any tattoos? No.
Hate yourself? No. Unless I committed a mistake a big one!
have a secret crush? Not now.
Have a best friend? < 10
Wish on stars? Ya.
Care about looks? Smtimes
Love Life? Ya. At least I try to.
First crush: Wen
First kiss: Xue
Single or attached? Not single.
Ever been in love? Ya.
Do you believe in love at first sight? Ya.
Do you believe in "the one?" Ya.
Describe your ideal significant other: No typical types.
Describe your unideal insignificant other: I wont care bout those insignificant “others”.
Juicy Stuff
Have you ever played a game that required removal of clothing? Ya. But I din remove anyway.
Have you ever been intoxicated? Ya. Once.
Have you ever been caught "doing something? Ya. Eg. Stealing $$
Are you a tease? Ya. In both teasing others n getting teased.
Shy to make the first move? Not really.
Word Association
Rubber: Latex
Rock: Punk/ It’s a long way to the Top…
Green: Red/ Grass?
Wet: Orgasm
Cry: Sadness
Peanut: Cake
Hay: My hair
Cold: Cool / Chill
Steamy: I dno…
Fast: Life
Freaky: Weird
Rain: Blue
Bite: I dno
Fuck: Sex/ Shit/ ~ing blabla
Blow: Food/ Blowjob (ya it's legalised...haha, k m sick)
Religion: Sensitive issue
If you could tell your boyfriend, girlfriend, crush etc. one thing what would it be: I dno.. depends on who tt is.
Sunday, February 15, 2004
You are Peace.
You are at peace with your self and the world
around you. You have balance in your life and
exude tranquility from every pore of your body.
People are constantly asking you "what is
your secret?"
What Emotion Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
m not peace, i juz need it..
A to Z questionnaire:
A- Appetizer of Choice: Salad?
B- Best Friend: Shanghai (mayb there're many others.. but he's e 1 i can go 2 when i REALLY hav probs. )
C- Choice of Meat: Beef or Fish
D- Dream Date: In a rotating restaurant built on water
E- Exciting Adventure: My life
F- Favorite Food: 松鼠贵鱼 ( A kind of fish, ya great, try it if u go china. n they hav it at 1 restaurant in suntec, 1 of those arnd e fountain, ya, but it's juz 鲤鱼, not 贵鱼, can try though, i think it's 40 bucks? of course eat it wif ur parents...:D)
G- Greatest Accomplishment: Getting into TCHS (m serious, i mean, tt's consider a formal 1)
H- Happiest Day of your life: A couple? e day i was born, e day i learnt 2 love? e day i got full marks 4 spelling, e day i had my 1st kiss, e day i hang out wif frens till e next day... there isn't any happiest. ya!
I- Interesting Fact: Koalas don't drink. Half of the chimps hav fractures cos they lyk 2 b tarzan, swing frm branches 2 branches, n they fell, how stupid but it's a fact. Elbow is the joint easiest to get dislocated. And many others from Discovery channel. Longest penis is 34.7 cm. Fastest reload is 8 ejaculation within 2 hrs. (refer 2 tt FHM of sex records)
J- Joke - Ha, I love jokes.. but not 2 many cold ones
K- Kind deeds: Spare the beggers sm $$
L- Lover: ( 4 me 2 know 4 u 2 find out... eh...)
M- Marriage: Let's see...
N- Name: Zhang Wenxin
O- Obsession: Injury
P- Pizza toppings: (wat kind of qn is tis?) Freak.. hmm, lots of chilli n beef
Q- Question Asked to you the most: What shall we do next?
R- Radio Station: 2 or 3... but i don really listen
S- Sex: Er? Male
T- Television Show: Don really watch.. hmm, discovery?
U- Underwear: Striped.
V- Video: Notic Mixtape II; Chinese Shine; Tony Royster Jr; Eolithic Tribute; KOF combo clips; And1 mixtape; Team Breakdance; Doa online; Hot Sauce; Sickness; Post Mortem; Real Emotion ( k 2 many videos, these r my favs)
W- Winter: My favourtie season, tt's y i always go back in dec hols.
X- X-ray: Last 1 i had was on my ankle, did i dislocated tt ankle? freak i still think i shldn't laughed at vernon.
Y- Year born: 1986
Z- Zodiac sign: Taurus, ya, 1st day of Taurus
Wednesday, February 11, 2004
My Struggles
tis juz don end...
You are one of the few out there whose wings are
truly ANGELIC. Selfless, powerful, and
divine, you are one blessed with a certain
cosmic grace. You are unequalled in
peacefulness, love, and beauty. As a Being of
Light your wings are massive and a soft white
or silver. Countless feathers grace them and
radiate the light within you for all the world
to see. You are a defender, protector, and
caretaker. Comforter of the weak and forgiver
of the wrong, chances are you are taken
advantage of once in awhile, maybe quite often.
But your innocence and wisdom sees the good in
everyone and so this mistreatment does not make
you colder. Merciful to the extreme, you will
try to help misguided souls find themselves and
peace. However not all Angelics allow
themselves to be gotten the better of - the
Seraphim for example will be driven to fighting
for the sake of Justice and protection of those
less powerful. Congratulations - and don't ever
change - the world needs more people like you.
*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla
Sunday, February 08, 2004
8 of Feb. I'll rmb.
it's bothering me 2 much...
m not a normal person, m rottin...
tml? can i juz put on a mask?
Saturday, February 07, 2004
hi dear,
m taking smtime 2 write tis thing. well...
surely there're many things 2 b happy abt. i lost of my ideas 4 tis entry, all my ideas which i originally tot of. more visual, vibrant. however, mayb i shldn't... b so happy?
IP, it definitely changed my life, perhaps it's a gd change. i don wanna complain bout tight schdules or intense pressure. every1 gonna float on themselves, it's time i shld b independant, though i lyk 2 stay as a kid, ha... m 17 n reaching 18 soon.
been having a light fever since wednesday, it's still wif me. running nose, sore throat, headache. i feel lyk dying, ya, vinci, a high sch drop-out. i would lyk 2 b tt... if i hav an option, then i'll hav more time 2 play, 2 play RO, bball, practise wif e drumstick, go swimming etc.
obviously i don lyk e current situation. m sick, i hav 2 go sch.. m not playing truant, m really tryin 2 get out of bed. juz my bad luck 2 hav knocked into m.ok 4 twice. struggling wif e chinese hist research, e mrp, e project's day blablabla. lyk me juz face it tt m weak. y.ang w.en zh.ong. i din attend any of his "Activities" on tues n weds. m not happy wif his ways. m not a 4 free labour, m not a slave.
met all e b-div judo guys on fri, went 2 hav dinner wif them. got a inspiration frm smthing. i tot of it, e exam.. i cant stay in singapore... i cant... though i don lyk tis kinda of things, but i hav 2 try. once is enuff...4 me, m not strong pal, m a weak creature. i don wish 2 go thru tis again. i told wat i tot 2 my parents, ha! got back sm demandings.. e conversation turn out 2 b a bad 1... there's no rm 4 failure.
sighed... wat? metal? rock? ok, he's not bad aft all... well... Ath... had stomach cancer, e operation shld b over by now. in e ICU. i don lyk tis...
so wat am i? e chinese call me hua qiao n e singaporeans call me chinese. i hav 2 admit tt though i don love tis country, neither r my best frens singaporeans (or mayb e singapore blood) but... but my frens r still here, in singapore. m getting a bit lost, my objectives, aims. i don see any future, though i've been goin wif e Plan perfectly.
there's no chioce. i'll juz do it.
2 me there's always a method 2 sort things out. problems exist is due 2 e lack or ineffective communication. if only ppl were 2 compromise, 2 communicate, there'll b happiness. i don wanna see or even hear sm1 is crying. things juz cant go right. y i reacted diffly 2 diff person. totally diff... m sorry 4 watever things.
m aware of e power of words, but i neva take it so seriously. i've seen e results of "not talking" i need sm peaceful moments, i don wanna see frm a 3rd person always. i hope u'll b alright my fren. i hope i'll b alright too... can i choose to love?
my teacher, i desperately need your guidiance...
sorry, i shldn't.. i muzn't see thru tis, i still wanna hav fun. :D
Sunday, February 01, 2004
This fully exlains how i felt now.. thx 4 typing it out.
i dont want compulsory ACE ( or any ACE), i dont want unreasonable teachers (and oso reasonable teachers), i dont want a super mario vice-principal( nor the gay), i want XYZ coz he got his own ideas( and his style), i dont want a cockroach as a classmate( and other animals), i want everything to be as it is now(or maybe), i dont want clock tower to become hon's office( cos it's haunted) , i dont want IH( or any humanities) , i dont want MRP( or Minor research paper), i want more sabbaticals ( n hols).
The parts in ( ) r added by me...
